Most girls I went to school with are married with kids. I can't even commit to a mobile phone contract for more than 2 years. Most girls I know will be cosied up in bed tonight with their man, having amazing sex and watching Netflix together, feeding each other Papa Johns and having an amazing time. In fact, 2 couples I know are SO in love, they got married today! Congratulations! I'm currently picking hairs out my chin and picking my nose with a tooth pick.
I've started questioning my lack of ability to sustain a man. Is it the fact I can be too lazy? Too clingy? Is it because I'm annoying? Or is it because they can't handle how beautiful I am? The first three obviously. Sonia Jackson has found love, as has Mick Hucknall. I feel if there is hope for these people, then my time must be soon surely?
Maybe not. Maybe, I'm not meant to settle down. I'm a fast paced lady with a taste for excitement and vigour. I am the sort of girl who walks round East Ham at all hours getting followed by groups of lads in cars who are constantly asking me if I'm ok. I'm the sort of girl who chain smokes and drinks vodka, calls you a cunt, thinks she's hilarious and whimsical when she's wasted, cooks in a bra, heels and leggings and thinks farts are hilarious. Can you imagine me having a baby? I couldn't face the baggy fanny. And I most certainly don't want a Caesarean:-I've seen Alien where that creature comes out her belly. Can you imagine me being responsible enough to sort out my kids shit? Schools and that? Oh no, I'll baby sit my mates kids anytime, but the moment it starts screaming I'm leaving it on their doorstep.
Paul Walker got better with age. .
How do I claim the micra?
ReplyDeleteMe mates ma had one of these when I was a kid.
I often wonder how many cans of beer it made when scrapped.
#needalifeme